It is quite incoherent.
This desire to make order out of a persistent mess.
This divine purpose to learn the lesson, is an endless cycle of failure.
I let it go, and it gets worse.
I work it in different angles determined to find a way to right this.
If I’m humble enough and work hard, I’ll fix the problem I didn’t create.
The answers and sanity slip away from me with the constant stress.
I guess it’s a family trait to be a fucking mess of insanity.
I thought if I was careful… but I had no choice in it all along.
Order doesn’t keep the disease at bay.
Breaking the cycle didn’t stop it from repeating.
A waking coma.
I’m just here as a filler, in a role I didn’t audition for.
The taste of undeserved failure is as putrid as stomach acid.
– In the morning, I’ll take a deep breath and tell myself yet again, that being present is all it takes to succeed.