You Will Carry The Weight

 

I am an emptiness, that doesn’t fill. A vast and endless space, that is still. I watch apathetic, as another galaxy ascends. Watch with stoic nihilism, as my universe ends. I feel a consciousness, sympathetically stroking my spine we both know it was beyond the matter of time. I feel no consolation as I feel no joy. If I ever felt it was never in my employ. My existence was never mine. I just make the right moves, then absently resign. Death, my kindest lover, joined me along the way. The spirit knows my plight, knew I needed the company. Knew the selflessness, knew the sacrifice I pay. While others had joy to live, I merely had distraction, never would my mind know a moment’s satisfaction. This decision was never mine, and I seek relief from it. Seek death’s adoring kiss all the time. Be patient it would remind me, in a consistent chant. Until patience became the only thing I am. Soon, I sing, all the while. I cling to the promise, like adventure in a child. I was born senile, continuing forward far pass that which one should. Like the living decay, I look forward to demise. I don’t ever seek, I’ve surpassed the fleshed lie. The galaxy is upon me. Death whispers ” So, we begin.”
I say, ” No in determinism. “The end.” The end.
Death looks at me with pity in its knowing eye.
Trembling with a seductive sigh
“I can not tell a lie.”
Then, with such a weight in me, I die.
I die!

 

 

© Zianna Libardo Valexia Valtero, 2016

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