Subconscious Death


I dream of death

a single suspended breath

accentuation into the merging realm

An intertwining quest

communing with the elm

earthly ascendance

foundation in the helm

all that is bewitching

in commonality I found

sugar no sweeter

then grainy ants on your tongue

crawling

crippling

unraveling what’s been done

Not murder

these ants are alive

traveling down my throat

gathering in my spine

at one with me

in the core of what is to be

I am tired

of unconscious death

it is crushing my lungs

harrowing my chest

culture is not separation

of unlike better beings

it is practice

of all common means

trying

all trying

to push along

move forward

surpass the things

given in circumstances

transforming into dreams

mindless blood

spilling onto black sheets

no one is wrong

we are all incomplete

I can’t kill what trembles inside

I can understand why it weeps

overwhelmed with all it struggles to keep

let it go as all things come to be

void cannot fill void

and so zero lays waste into nothing

with silence precious noise

all that’s absent becomes something

one whole touches one whole

two becomes soul

the spirit takes three

engulfs all of me

spirit to body is four

wonder all the more

this love is mine to spend

and I shall give until ascend

I wish I could mend

all

passion

tension

pressured apprehension

exhilaration

don’t release

fill and absorb

take with ease

it is welcoming

just to be

we are

we will always indeed

come in

come beside

come feel

come alive

I do touch

I do breath

I dream of death

in living sheath

I dream death is not our key

It is the door locking

shutting

I dream of coming

death just life transforming

in forms learning

I dream a place real

I know what I feel

it’s here

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Absolute


hourglasses capture nothing

but empty doorways

shifting air

turning gasps

in candlelight

reverberate

across the expanse

clasp together

twisting

clutching

skin slipping

rubbing

sliding

in stillness

shift

contort

blood riding

prickles of hair

raising from goosebumps

shouting

howling from the depths

in wonder I reach

pleas

beseech

we

oh, rapture

apocalypse now

break

and fall above us

crashing

in tides

of roaring awe

shriek

so tremulous

and wily

slither

soar into madness

chaotic intercession

correlating semblance

upon your lips

laughing arrogance

harrowing gyps

lively lover

deathly Don

strip all

bewilder

and entrance

willing

wanting

denigrating desire

enveloping resonance

I wished for you

on you

amongst you

afar

in the space

around the galaxy

interplanetary

interweaving

atom

building energy

rushing

within

manipulating

creating

animating

I adorn you

accept you

my own

my life

are all

are every

in entirety

in absolution

What is a name?


What was my name

you said it was precious to you

show me

say it

taste it

each syllable like you are starving

don’t waste one piece

lick each drop like honey

and spell it out like alphabet soup

what am I

don’t tell pretty lies

they won’t get you far

I know ugliness

like my body knows scars

you have no one to fool

I just want the truth

don’t waste your time

I won’t lay down

open my legs

I won’t twist

or beg

I’ll sit across the way

speak your name

look you in the face

stare into your eyes

don’t bother with lies

there will be no prize

no one wins

when dishonesty gives

I want the sweat of your skin

the beads of earnest

I want you like this

breathing and living

not suffocating and stiff

that is no way to live

talk to me

tell me what I do

what it means to you

I’ll do the same

speak on the panic as you came

all the uncertainty that jumped at your name

no use in being ashamed

we have something to claim

who we are

who we want to be

what we need

if we feed

each others souls

or strike out

and never know

live to let go

or hold

unconsoled

unfold

and scream

unravel at the seams

find how it means

when we glimmer in the sheen

of the light we think we bring

I know each detail

do you

do you want to

like I do

what is my name to you?

A Prayer to the Trees


Can I accept that I don’t love

as the sea flows

unraveling details

leaves me naked and exposed

lies of someone composed

it shows

I am drifting with the tide

fading with the fog

undone where I thought I could hide

sinking like a log

oh, I touch the soaked bark

a drenched part of me

it is real

it bleeds

it’s leaves

it’s shaking seeds

I can’t retrieve

or find relief

for the grown discomfort inside of me

it grew  through my bones and flesh

into my soul

around my chest

out of my heart

piercing my breath

I gasp at the depth

I feel every part of it’s quest

seeping into the blood

if I do bleed

it is for it’s own good

as I never could

I let it sink like the wood

to the bottom of the river

as I always should

one with the truth

one with the wet

like the days I was unborn

without said

without mourn

I spray alive into the wind

becoming rain

becoming earth

another birth

of water

and flesh

on the forest floor

of sand

and seed

the primitive of me

not the confusion they breed

in the mind of what they think should be

but in the feeling

in the moment

when we aren’t a process

but whole and open

I was this thing

as a babe

a wailing wave

roaring as I came

at one and the same

together with the tide

from mother to mother

her currents carrying you alive

sister and brother

side by side

wedded by the ride

let the cloak of salt

bath my skin

cover me like the sun

dancing with the reflection of the surface and the wind

I want to come

to the wonder

from which I was done

back to where it begun

because ending is all I have known to succumb

fallen to death

then the love of it’s son

made up like a lover

beloved by none

a wisp of the fey

long gone away

not my dawn

not my day

lost in the world

where I have long been washed away

magic only comes when made

not by whim

or by faith

not the old ways

to gather me back to the mists of the great

Avalon, my lady

my grace

oh, to look upon your shores

to be back in the glow of your smiling face

to love and love

as I never did in all my days

back to your majesty

home to your praise

always

always


I find I am not quite sure what others see in me or what I even see in myself for that matter. I doubt our reflections are ever clear to us except for when we look into the eyes of those who truly love us. I think only then do we see the purest forms of ourselves. -Valexia Zianna, The Goddess.