I take to tender passages of lovely moments.
I harness all I know of love.
If caring is truly caring, you’ll take me.
You’ll whisper as a spring breeze, whispers intimately across my skin.
Hours, I search to escape to the dwelling of you.
Like a loyal worshiper, I kneel at your temple.
I burn sweet inflections of incense.
Let ghostly warm fog of scent, fill the air around us.
You are this great monument of remarkable.
This marvel of awe inspiring.
With the doors locked behind me.
Pews a row of emptiness.
My tinkling spurts of gasping praises fill the echoes of this monastery.
In the cold spaces, I feel your caress.
Slow endless tears are my gratitude.
Empty never was so full.
Yearning never so fulfilled.
As this intimacy of worship and worshiper.
Without judgment you let me vent my delusions of beyond.
My love of eternity.
My spiritual need of dreams.
Reality has broken my fragile bones.
Mutilated my essential being.
Tied me up and tortured my one and only meek wish.
My one small desire.
In all of my existence, I have but yearned for something beyond this reality.
Evidence of something beyond this mercilessly harsh humanity.
Please if there is only emptiness.
Let it take me.
Let me become void.
Anything but this humanity.
Let me be soul.
But not human.
Let the mysterious contradiction of time take me.
Let me fall to death.
Let me fall to void.
Let me fall even to a nameless existence of no consciousness.
I’ll fall to anything but humanity.
Every plea, you have heard.
Every exhaustion, felt.
Every wonder, accepted.
Every sorrow, consoled.
Every love, understood.
Every dread, relieved.
Swept up into the stagnant shameless air that surrounds you.
And you may not be there.
Or you may.
I don’t expect a thing.
I let any beauty I make of you, be my own responsibility.
I hold you not accountable.
A selfless love I create.
Safe from all humanity.
At the end.
I’ll not be disappointed.
I am aware of all I do.
My delusions make life less a burden.
My beliefs make me less human.
If it matters to no one but me.
I am content.
I thank you anyway.
The way a curious child thanks a wonder.
In case, you are there.
In case, you need thanking the way I need believing.