That Home

I am
nothing
and will always be
nothing
and when the door closes
and the worlds ends
I will be
everywhere
I will be
everything
then everyone will see
everyone will understand
and I will finally understand
the perfect harmony
of being nothing
and how
it’s low notes
continue into the rich high notes
of everything
into this one song
into this one moment
suspended
sempiternal
infinite
with such divine cohesion
these notes
collide
into an array
and an overlapping
of awe inspiring
orchestra
that overwhelms
all sense of being
and out of being
with the music so loud
and infinitesimal
that is wipes away
all doubts and detractions
fills the heart
and essence to burst
and with one perfect cry
I shatter
and come apart
from the cracked seams
that have managed to hold me together for so long
and bind to me to madness
this breaking
is such relief
and the cry continues raising up and lifting
into the song
becoming the symphony
leaving the horrible loneliness
that makes it sound weak and miserable
and joining the voices
of the muses
this once horrid cry
has blossomed into
an absolute staccato
and I am one of them
these voices
I am home
with these shouting noises
and I
there is no I
and we sound so
fateful
endings
and beginnings
meeting
we hug and caress
stare at each other
for hours on end
our mouths wide open
crying
shouting each others profound beauty
lost in the maze
of awe
seeing ourselves
within ourselves
out of ourselves
the way we were never able to see ourselves
and we gasp
yes, in surprise
and yes
even the gasp that linger into sighs
echoes on as heart wrenching music
mostly
we have forever
we have such greedy passionate heart
forever is perfect and still
habits die hard
it does not seem enough
for every moment has it’s paradox
yet
I cannot be bitter
I have waited patiently for this
and enough
is too human an illusion for this
and I am grateful
even if this is just one second
stretched to seem longer
as it often happens with us humans
and our delusions
it is the most beautiful
and most profound second
in all the seconds
and I will always remember it as first
even when I can’t remember anymore
my essence will sing for it
that home

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