Like Beginning

You tell me to leave
and to be honest
I no longer want to stay
I am expendible
I might as well go away
maybe this time
I will be come the wind
end and begin
maybe I will turn into the sky
become whatever people choose to see
without ever questioning why
maybe I will become a tree
maybe I just won’t exist
so no one will bother me
it will feel so good to end
it will be a relief
a heavy weight off my shoulders
to not be
I walk outside
and the night air
is freezing cold
I shiver
tremble
shake
the chill invades my skin
everything stands on end
my bare feet scream
against the frozen floor
I look up at the stars
and my burning hot heart hurts
with each beat it rages against the cold
as if it has a chance
or can make a difference
as if it matters to beat
breath
live
I look up at my sisters and brothers
my faraway family
burning
on and on
contented
and purposeless
in space
and I reach for them
with my entire being
with this inexhaustible yearning
and I am carried away
into the cold fray
of everything
I forget my heart
it is frantic and urgent
such things don’t last
I forget my life
and my soul
such things are extraneous
and I go
and it is beautiful
AND I AM GONE
and I feel all around me
this profound certainty
that never was
and I cry
but it isn’t a cry
it is gratitude
relief
mercy
peace
the end
the end
THE END
but there is no such thing as goodbye
and as all things end
it is, all things begin
and it feels like beginning

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