I refuse to be seen as genderized. I don’t believe in gender and would rather not be seen as any gender. I don’t feel like a gender. I seriously don’t not see myself as a women. I don’t feel like anything. I am just an essence. Being an essence is what I want to be remembered and recognized as. I don’t want to be categorized as anything. I feel it devalues who I really am. I try to support what gender people see me as. I try to support all genders. It feels hypocritical though since I don’t believe in gender. I feel when we notice each others race, gender, and sexuality we limit each other. We put each others in boxes and keep each other at an arms length. We don’t have to face the reality of the way we behave and treat each other.
I believe all organisms were created by God. We are an extension of that God. I don’t see God as male. I believe in God as an Essence. If we are an extension of God and God is just an Essence. Than so am I and everyone else. I didn’t choose my gender, race, or sexuality. Growing up I wasn’t even aware of those things existence until they were taught to me. I figured if everyone else felt them then so should I. But I don’t.
To me they just aren’t real. They just seems like more illusions people create to separate and comfort themselves. I don’t feel any race. I don’t look at my skin and see a difference amongst my many ancestors. I just know that I am what I am. That it took many ancestors to live so that I could and that is all I know of them. I just refuse to let the ignorance of others project onto my life anymore.
I am an Essence that is connected to many Essences that are all intermingled into one vast great Essence. All around me is that Essence.