What is Beauty?

They teach you being pretty takes you places

but not what to do to get those pretty faces

See I was never in the in crowd

Hair so frizzy it never laid down

Too awkward to be social

Too honest when lies were crucial

I never had long legs or long lashes

I put on highs heels and mascara

Took the innocent girl I was

and burnt her to ashes

Stopped eating so I can be lovely

Holding back so you can love me

My breast were too big

and my thighs too wide

How can I live?

how can I hide?

I will never be good enough

and I am so ugly!

Who would ever?

Who would ever love me?

I just want to be beautiful

I just want to be gorgeous

Have all the attention that the whores get

If I open my legs

If I get on my knees

If I beg

If I please

Will I ever be right

everything I do is wrong

Tried to shine in the light

but it seems like I have been in darkness along

I want you to look at me

and I want you to see

I’ve become everything you wanted me to be

All your brand of fucking pretty!

And still you won’t look my way

or glance at my fucking face!

You said if I was this

and if I had that

But now I am too broken

and you can’t stand that I am too sad

I don’t get it, I killed myself for you

Cause who I was wouldn’t do

And now you want the old me back

you miss my poetry and my awkward laugh

What the fuck do want from me and make it clear

because if beauty is confidence I was already there

But you told me I could be better

and that is what I tried to be

now you crash me to the ground

and say you just want me to be free

 

I was already yours.

I will never be for you again

Now I am mine

And now this is the end.

Cause I am sick and tired of this standard of pretty

I like my unruly hair

and what my curves do for me

and you know what, I wish you were dead

just so you can see, what it is like to kill yourself

and then have some asshole tell you to be free

Cause I was always fucking beautiful

Before your sickness crawled up inside me.

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