No One Knows

And nobody knows what I see you in my sleep

when I am dreaming of you

and nobody knows the lies that I keep

when I am looking at what you do

how everything you feel is just a glance away

the lies in your lashes as you look down

You smoke your ashes and say you’re okay

but you’re not building up, you’re still on the ground

did you really think you could bullshit?

That you could lie to my face?

say you’re fine just to quit

like you’re the only one out of place

I won’t let you cheat yourself

tear apart who you are

just to create someone else

all the healing without the scars

You have to put in work

and it’s going to hurt

these are the chores you can’t shirk

all the words you can’t blurt

and I am listening

to that pounding in you’re chest

and it has been quickening

this thing that I know best

and to be honest I am afraid

so scared for what you will do

and the mistakes I have already made

I have been trying to protect you

you don’t want to be saved

not even by yourself

my trust in you has caved

but you already tossed me on the shelf

and you stare me down

I can see that direct blame

from all the disappointment you found

oh how your expectations turn to shame

I never asked you to

I would never do that

I never asked a thing of you

it seems the altruism feel flat

and it seems I will never be redeemed

for all the things I never was

for all the moments you once dreamed

I am caught in your jaws

and not once have I ever bothered to scream

these are my flaws

what was once a glow is now a gleam

And is this what you want

for me to kill myself

I already suffer a lot

this company has become a cry for help

you never once said sorry

or worse thank you

You move in a hurry

like you’re just passing through

You cut like a knife,

when it kisses this pain is pleasure

I take it in strive

And each time it digs deeper

Said I mean something

like a comment over your shoulder

I still feel like nothing

like the way you screwed me over

I have been flirting with death

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