Forgive

I thought life was okay

I thought I was going to be fine

I thought I knew the way

I guess it’s all just in my mind

Thought I was someone to save

I thought I was that kind

I guess at the end of the day

I am no where to find

and I guess that’s just life

somethings just don’t turn out right

and though it seems dark

there are still stars that light up in the night 

and I know I am scared

and I know it’s my fault

all that I fear

I stored too long in a vault

I am trying to let go

and face who I am

the more that I know

the more that I can’t

and its drive me crazy

I am stronger than this

I know better

and I know whats at risk

It’s my choice

and I am being stubborn now

raising my voice

trying to get it out

I have been lying to myself for too long

I have to deal with the consequences

I face them in a song

but it still feels like I am jumping fences

I have never been afraid of my own reflection

I know what its takes

all the answers are in introspection

and my hearts shakes

my heart shakes

with the weight of it all

of trying to be better

and learning to embrace the fall

because I did it for them

instead of myself

learned to sacrifice who I am

for the comfort of someone else

I committed suicide

and no one said a word

there was nothing to hide

I just went unheard

no one told me

just be yourself

you can’t please others

I just never had help

I never needed anyone

I learned on my own

I was the one who held the gun

I just wanted to go home

I found God in myself

and a place to live

the music was playing on the shelf

repeating “oh, how do I forgive?”

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