Endings

Please don’t start again

How you want to begin

introduced with an end

and how ugliness can beautiful

and how hideousness can be alluring

you met me with a hatred so dutiful

you said there was no point in curing

whispering haunting lies

of death and other pressing matters

if I leave no one cries

I deserve these rotting tatters

No, no one

No, not one

they never loved me

they will never miss a thing

I’ve decide its pointless

I have nothing left to bring

It all is hopeless

And you don’t think I’ll miss you

you decided I don’t count

I won’t stop you from what you’re determined to

You like being the odd one out

You have found your place finally

which is really no place at all

You made up your mind on who to be

Said you got tired of feeling small

And what would you do?

How would you feel?

If this actually comes true?

If you find out this is real?

And how dare you ask me this?

Put it on me knowing I’ll never forget

Knowing I will hold myself accountable in the mist

Of how I couldn’t save you and I’ll always regret

I think you need my guilt to be immortal

because you don’t really want to be dead.

Using death as a portal

your actions contradict everything you said

Do you really think if you leave you will be different?

Or is it that you’d just rather be nonexistent?

I don’t know what to tell you

and I don’t know how to help you

If you are looking to me for a reckoning

you don’t seem to be listening

If you don’t trust me to help

well, you are just going to save yourself

 

And you say

what if I don’t want to be saved?

What if I want to sink under?

because it feels so good to be low

I have fallen for the wonders

this endless pain is all I’ll ever know

You make self-abhorrence sound romantic

like something you can’t resist

You ask, can I be more tragic?

I think there is something that you missed

You use to smile

and you use to try

fight hard for awhile

seems like you gave up and I don’t know why

You say you can’t stand to be this way anymore

but you never try to change

don’t want to have sacrifice what you had before

but you can turn the page

You just don’t want to enough

you have all the choices

I am not reason tough

still you are listening the outside voices

Don’t come to me

if you are only going to give up

Don’t make me see

if you know I can’t bare the erupt

You know it is you I love

You know I hate this

we both know I’ll shatter in two

we both know it isn’t enough

 

I will miss you

if you ever have to ask

I will cry for you

because I know this won’t last

 

But you can stay

even if you go

you can still change

but I’ll never know

but I’ll never know

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