Please don’t start again
How you want to begin
introduced with an end
and how ugliness can beautiful
and how hideousness can be alluring
you met me with a hatred so dutiful
you said there was no point in curing
whispering haunting lies
of death and other pressing matters
if I leave no one cries
I deserve these rotting tatters
No, no one
No, not one
they never loved me
they will never miss a thing
I’ve decide its pointless
I have nothing left to bring
It all is hopeless
And you don’t think I’ll miss you
you decided I don’t count
I won’t stop you from what you’re determined to
You like being the odd one out
You have found your place finally
which is really no place at all
You made up your mind on who to be
Said you got tired of feeling small
And what would you do?
How would you feel?
If this actually comes true?
If you find out this is real?
And how dare you ask me this?
Put it on me knowing I’ll never forget
Knowing I will hold myself accountable in the mist
Of how I couldn’t save you and I’ll always regret
I think you need my guilt to be immortal
because you don’t really want to be dead.
Using death as a portal
your actions contradict everything you said
Do you really think if you leave you will be different?
Or is it that you’d just rather be nonexistent?
I don’t know what to tell you
and I don’t know how to help you
If you are looking to me for a reckoning
you don’t seem to be listening
If you don’t trust me to help
well, you are just going to save yourself
And you say
what if I don’t want to be saved?
What if I want to sink under?
because it feels so good to be low
I have fallen for the wonders
this endless pain is all I’ll ever know
You make self-abhorrence sound romantic
like something you can’t resist
You ask, can I be more tragic?
I think there is something that you missed
You use to smile
and you use to try
fight hard for awhile
seems like you gave up and I don’t know why
You say you can’t stand to be this way anymore
but you never try to change
don’t want to have sacrifice what you had before
but you can turn the page
You just don’t want to enough
you have all the choices
I am not reason tough
still you are listening the outside voices
Don’t come to me
if you are only going to give up
Don’t make me see
if you know I can’t bare the erupt
You know it is you I love
You know I hate this
we both know I’ll shatter in two
we both know it isn’t enough
I will miss you
if you ever have to ask
I will cry for you
because I know this won’t last
But you can stay
even if you go
you can still change
but I’ll never know
but I’ll never know