Today

I carefully fold myself up

and put myself away

today

I have been trying so hard

trying to figure out how to be okay

I practice what I know

trying to take my advice

trying to keep it together

so everything turns out right

trying to be a better me

trying to live up to the word free

if I could

figure this out

if I had an inkling

could I be free of this doubt

I have such big dreams

that are far too big

for a small body like me

I whispered it

it became a prayer

then a chant

If I can

I know I can’t

I bring myself down

where is my courage to be defeated

If I fall

I decide if I end it

if it is completed

it became a whisper

a prayer

then a chant

I know I can

I know I can

I grew up so afraid

to make a mistake

no one told me

that only champions

win by failing with grace

I wish I knew

I have wasted so much time

hiding my face

I could have been bolder

if I was taught to persevere

I am so much older

but I am still here

it became a whisper

a prayer 

then a chant

oh god, give me one more chance

just one more chance

I want to make a change

just one more heart beat

for today

so I can be better

and be so much better than okay

I have dreams

too big for this small body

I believe

more than what can stop me

and if I am god

If I am awed

let it be today

there is always

a better way

 let me find the strength

just one more second

one more minute

one more hour

one more day

I am going to find a better way

 

 

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