I learned growing up that to love yourself you have to hate yourself. To respect yourself you have to bring down others. As well as yourself. You can’t be wrong and others cannot be above. There was no in between. You are either with me or against me.
I learned that filling yourself with cigarette poison was okay. Drinking beer to relax and forget yourself was okay. That looking in the mirror and not liking yourself is okay. No one ever told me that wishing to be someone else was wrong. Not to mention a waste of precious time.
That it is a blessing enough to even be experiencing who I am right now. That what I am is a miracle. I can’t blame my family, parents, or friends. They didn’t know better and we were taught the same things. We are raised to think we are ugly and wrong. Being pretty sells. If we all thought we were pretty there would be no beauty products.
We were taught to look for your love, worth, and peace in others. That these things can be found somewhere else. That these things need to be gained. That to find yourself you have to look else where of yourself. It took books, music, internet, and movies. Experiencing and observing the outside world to find the truth.
EVERYTHING starts with you. This is our life and we are in the drivers seat. You don’t have to hate yourself to love yourself. Quite often it takes suffering to open your eyes. We waste so much time in the cycle of negativity, because we are use to it and think it is interesting.
We are afraid to be better and bored. We try to put the responsibility of loving ourselves onto others. The fact remains that this is our life. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT WE DO AND WHAT WE BELIEVE IN. We aren’t lost unless we are afraid to be ourselves. Afraid of what we are capable of.
There are alot of lost people in the world. I was one of them, lost, anxious, and afraid. I am not helpless. I have no excuses. I am responsible for who I am. For who I aspire to be. ONLY ME. YOU HAVE TO PUT IN WORK AND INVEST IN YOURSELF. No one will do it for you. This isn’t their journey, it is yours.
Be valorous and never be afraid. Fear is an illusion of the mind designed to keep you safe and aware of threats. When untrained the mind can be it’s own worse enemy. Train your mind to think for yourself. Stop going by the opinions and thoughts of others. Or you will always be ruled by others. Train your mind to think the way you want it to.
Discipline yourself. Know what kind of person you want to be. Is who you are now a being that the child you, would admire? A being you want to be? Decide to be that person. Make the conscious decision that you deserve to be the person you want to be. Everything here is temporary. So be who you want to be while you can.
Other people will tell you to make alot of money, make a family, and all these ideas will make you happy. Only you know what is going to make you happy. If you like small town living and do not need extravagant things. You just like doing your little art pieces and eating cheap pasta. If it brings you peace then do it. You are the one that has to live your life, no one else.
Why can’t the way you like things be right? You know what is best for you. Not everyone is made to be rich or poor. To have kids or family. To go to college or to have a well paying desk job. Some of us were made to enjoy the small things in life. Just be you.
Who ever that raw essence is. What ever that sheer essence loves and desires. At the end, it is YOUR end, your life, your peace, and your experience with God. It dishonors God to waste. We were given everything that is worthy of God itself, since God itself resides in all of us.
Don’t listen to other humans and let them discourage you, because they are human. Listen to your instincts, your heart, soul, mind, and intuition, that is how God speaks to us. There are no coincidences. If God gives it, then God wants you to utilize it. Just be honest, honorable, true, and just. Most of all honor God and be the person you think God would respect. And only the God in you knows who that is.