I use to try to look as attractive as I could all the time, like I had something to prove. I could fool everyone, but I couldn’t fool myself. I could look as beautiful as Angelina Jole on the outside, but it wouldn’t register to me on the inside. The things you believe in and invest faith in, give them energy and power. You can try to look beautiful all you want, but if you don’t believe it… Then it is just another object to attain.
Beauty is like life, it can’t be attained, it just is. If you believe in your worth. Your worth will show you who you really are. I dress up only when I feel pretty now, which still isn’t as often it should be, but baby steps. Mostly though, I don’t feel compelled to prove anything anymore. I found that all I had to “prove” laid buried at the surface. Like buried treasure waiting to be cherished.
The more I settle and unwind. The more faith I have in the being Life and the Great Creator made me to be. The easier I find the answers to what I always questioned. The less I fight my existence, the more my purpose is unraveled and revealed. The more I stop trying to fight and force the Creator, the more connected I become with it.
In this clarity I find, I see the absolute. Even if I can’t see my hands in front of me. I know something is there. Just beyond my reach. Just within my grasp. Just waiting. I am ready. It has been a long time coming. We have both been waiting. That Great Essence and I.
I just had to learn the true meaning of patience. Which isn’t sacrificing yourself for others. It’s being patient enough with others ignorance. To accept who you are, for them, and honor yourself. Most of all to forgive all the lost children. For they know not what they do. They do not know. I have learned to silence my ego and expectation. It is proud of me to expect anything of others. Especially when I know I know so little myself.
No matter how old we are. No matter how much we know. We are all lost children of the Profound Creator. Only when we fulfill our purpose, do we know. Can we understand home and love. We are all intermingling beings connected by our ties that are never ending and ever moving in a direction that is beyond our understanding.
As long as we can marvel. As long as we can learn. As long as we have faith. We are completing our purpose. That is the most lovely mission. I think by understanding our ignorance, we accept and honor our inner Creator. Where it lays inside of us, dormant and perennial. Waiting, like the silent respiration between each heartbeat.